It's time...

I awoke last night and had somewhat of a panic attack.  My triathlon is in 34 days and I haven't really done much swimming.  At all.

So here we go - I'm off to get myself a good one-piece swimsuit and making plans to start my workout swims tomorrow night.  The Rec Center offers lap workouts from 8:30-9:15 every Wednesday night for $4. 
The description says "This drop in class is available for intermediate and advanced swimmers who need extra help with technique and endurance.  A Water Safety Instructor will coach from the pool deck and provide a work-out and help swimmers with their strokes and turns.  Swimmers must be 18 years old or older and be able to swim 50 yards (1 lap) of the pool."  Well, I can swim 1 lap.....and that's about it.  Then I'd have to rest a few minutes.  Do I qualify?  Will I embarrass the hell out of myself if I go?  I spose I won't know til I try, but....

I have contacted the director about setting up 1-2 private lessons for myself to just get some pointers on breathing/arm control, etc.  I haven't heard back from her yet, so I'm going to explore another option today as well.  Maybe I can get in the water twice a week for the next 4 weeks. 

I think I'm really scared of swimming.  I'm scared of not being good enough, not being able to get better, not enjoying it.  I can swim short distances - 50 yards I spose, and that's about it.  I get going and I feel like I have to swim like a bat out of hell because I start to panic.  I tell myself that's just because I don't feel confident in the water, and with practice I will get there.  The problem is, I actually have to practice.  I can't just rationalize it in my head.  It was that way with running too - I could run about 2-3 blocks and then have to stop because my head was freaking out and telling me I couldn't do it.  With time, I was able to increase the distance and now enjoy my short 3-5 mile runs.  (Enjoy is a relative term....)

So now it's time.  It's time to get wet and see what happens.